December 2010
62 posts
You know..
this empty feeling is not bad at all.
I’m not angry,
I’m not happy,
I’m not insecure,
I’m not upset,
I’m not jealous,
I’m not excited,
I’m not emotional.
But it’s this feeling engulfed by nothingness,
I can’t feel anything anymore,
and it’s nice.
Blank.
My world
is falling apart.
Slowly but surely.
My weakness is starting to show.
My sadness is starting to show.
My vulnerability is starting to show.
I want to be someone with an ice cold heart.
A strong person.
Emotionless.
Strong.
一人
その世界で
一人。
友達は居るんけど
話せるの人が居るんけど
なんで毎日夜に
寂しいの？
いたいよ。。。
心がいたいよ。
毎日夜にお酒を飲めるし
泣いてる。
泣いてるよ。
もう
助けて。
Kuro.....
When it becomes night time and everything becomes black, why do I feel so blue…?
Because when everything becomes black and dark… it makes me think of dying.
Did you know that Shiro hates rain? Because when it rains, Shiro cries.
He cries, cries, and cries.
MmMMmMmmMm
Mendokusai.
Kyou wa yappari dame dayo.
M E N D O K U S A I
Hitori de hoshii.
Man,,
I need to stop speaking Jap when I’m drunk.
Beer tastes like water. Liquor tastes like juice. Cigarettes are like oxygen. My heart is frozen.
It only melts for one person.
雨
The more people you live with, the more you realize how alone you are.
Struck
I’m wayy too tired to be at work today.
I want to curl up in my ball and sleep, wrapped in my blankets.
A few tear drops here and there,
a cup of cold coffee,
and a pack of cigarettes.
Refreedom
It feels lonely in this house. But I’m back. Somehow, it feels like home again.
This pimp lounge couch, this small black table, flower ash trays, indoor smoking, Josh’s early guitar playing as my alarm, this annoying yet adorable dog, Thanh’s L4D gunshots, Steph and my talks, Vu’s online shopping madness, All my stuff here again;
This lonely home.
I'm going to try
to quit smoking.
For the 23987486th time.
I know I can’t do it, but at least I can try.
Troublesome
I’ve been surrounding myself with my problems and other people’s problems. Not only am I stressing myself out, but I’m stressing and annoying people I love. I need to learn how to control the amount of help that I give.
I think I try to fix other people’s problems, when I can’t even fix my own. Is this what you call selfishness? Or is it something you call being a...
Ouu,,
mendokusai
Truthfully;
the night does make me feel blue sometimes.
The blackness of the night does make me depressed sometimes.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Something is wrong with me.
What’s wrong with me?
…でももういいよ。 自分の気持を分かんないの子だよ。
安心、安心。
tamburina:
The girl was grateful to the young man for every bit of flattery; she wanted to linger for a moment in its warmth and so she said, ‘You’re very good at lying.’ ‘Do I look like a liar?’ ‘You look like you enjoy lying to women,’ said the girl, and into her words there crept unawares a touch of the old anxiety, because she really did believe that her young man enjoyed lying to women.
...
: Borderline personality disorder →
tamburina:
Borderline personality disorder is a condition in which a person makes impulsive actions, and has an unstable mood and chaotic relationships.
Relationships with others are intense and unstable. They swing wildly from love to hate and back again. People with BPD will frantically try to avoid real…
I was diagnosed with this.
I want my long hair back
UGGGGHGHHHGHJKFHGDHGL
Why do you
always pop up in my life and make me miserable?
You ruin my happiness.
Don’t make me unstable.
Go away for crying out loud.
You fucked everything up, deal with it.
I’m not some godly angel who’ll accept all the shit you’ve done to me.
Don’t call me telling me you’re sorry,
then proceed to tell me all these shit about me.
You don’t even fucking know...
Models are models for a reason.
Sigh
I’m surrounded by dumbasses.
Where are my intellectual people at.
Please just don’t play with me, My paper...
I'm sorry
if I pissed you off, irritated you, annoyed you, or bothered you.
I’m very very sorry.
Please..don’t be mad…
These days my meals consist of;
Cigarettes CM with extra caramel Nutella and dinner rolls
I don’t think this is healthy haha.
Where did this talent go?
I miss my band. I miss...
I lost all motivation
for recording music.
Every time I listen to myself, I want to punch the computer.
tamburina:
Human life must be some kind of mistake. The truth of this will be sufficiently obvious if we only remember that man is a compound of needs and necessities hard to satisfy; and that even when they are satisfied, all he obtains is a state of painlessness, where nothing remains to him but abandonment to boredom. This is direct proof that existence has no real value in itself; for what...
4:31pm
Today, I feel extra emotional.
If today was described as a color;
it would be the colors of a bruise.
Kuro;
When it becomes night, why do I feel so blue? Maybe because the night sky is black, and when I see black, I think of dying.
Day 2;
I don’t have a guilty pleasure. I guess if I really had to pick, it would be baking.
